Week 6:
141.5 lbs

As early as the second week of this project I had added some new goals to my list. One of them was to go through the letters of the alphabet reading classics. This would be living the “good’ life in every sense of the word. I have always loved reading classics so no great hardship for me this.

Yet, nothing irks me so much as people assuming that as a librarian I must read all the time, and that I became a librarian because I love to read. Nothing could be further from the truth. I do love to read. But I am not a great reader.

I read in fits and starts. If I like book, I will go through it rapidly, choosing to read it over a host of other options of things to do and definitely over slogging over unfinished chores. If I can’t find a book I like, which is a lot of the time, I will reread old books. I will never finish a book I don’t like. I can think of no bigger waste of time (unless there is some compelling reason like it was assigned for a class or assigned by my book club group. And in the latter case, many of us will give up after a valiant attempt if we don’t care for the month’s selection.)

But, at any rate, I did not become a librarian because I love books.

When I first came to the US, I definitely was under the assumption that my husband and I would be traveling around the world for a while and then would return to India to settle there. How wrong I was. Here, little children, is one of the 55 reasons I can give you why you should not marry your high school sweetheart after years of being apart and only communicating through letters. You really don’t know each other at all. Of course, thanks to the advent of the internet, social media, texting and Skype, I don’t suppose anyone will ever be in this situation again. Now we know people we have never met face to face so well, that we could be miles and countries apart, without being able to tell the difference. Unless Russia decides to chop through the underwater internet cables, and then I suppose all bets are off.

But, at any rate, I did not become a librarian because I love books.

I was in the US and, being Indian, the obvious assumption was that I would not pass up this opportunity to get a degree from some hallowed institution. In those days, having a degree in English literature (instead of an engineering degree) was already a big strike against me in Silicon Valley.

I sat down and seriously thought about my educational options for a few minutes and narrowed it down to two choices: Journalism and Library Science, both of which were degrees that were available to me at the local university.

Pros:
Journalism – I loved to write and had a degree in English
Library Science – I was terrified of being in a new country and perhaps being in a library meant I could be in a quiet corner somewhere cataloging books and not having to talk with anyone.

Cons:
Journalism – I might end up as a reporter having to run around all over the place, driving on the wrong side of the road, talking to people I didn’t know or understand.
Library Science – I didn’t know the first thing about libraries in the US. (It wasn’t until much later I realized just how wrong even my meager my impressions of libraries in the US were.)

I began to agonize about my choices. At this same time, just a few months after my move to the US, my husband and I were already getting on each other’s newlywed nerves. He was a brilliant engineer and usually a pretty nice guy. I was a supposedly smart woman, but terrified of everything around me. There was nothing I could do to make him proud of me. For me, winning the approval of people around me was all I had ever wanted.

After one very fun evening visiting with some of his friends we had come home and had just parked the car and walked in the house, when he turned to me and said, “When we go out, if you can’t talk properly, just don’t talk.” I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say. I knew I had this singsong way of speaking that irritated him, but it wasn’t a choice I had made and no one had ever held me responsible for it before. Well, there had been one incident, but more about that later.

Growing up we sisters had never fought with each other and I could not recall hearing my parents argue. I had never learned how to deal with disagreement or adversarial situations or arguments, simply because I had never needed to. I had been a debater in college, but that was different. It was never personal.

So I looked at my husband in stupefaction. I should have picked up a book and chucked it at his head and asked him what the hell he expected of me. I should have asked him if he was drunk or high or both. I could have started a full-fledged fight when we could have aired our feelings and laughed it off. I suppose I could have done all kinds of things to save my marriage. But instead, I just shut down. I was done trying to please him.

The next morning, we were discussing my choices for college. He made some remark about how there was more prestige in becoming a journalist. Boom. And just like that, my choice was made. Librarianship it would be.

Childish? Yes, of course. It could have ended very badly for me. But as it turned out, despite my complete misconceptions of what libraries really are about in the US, there couldn’t have been a better career for me.

So back to reading. And back to a year of living the good life.

I would read a classic novel every 2 weeks (doable) – preferably one I have not read before. But I gave myself some leeway in this. I also tried to stay with shorter novels to make it easier to reach my goal. 26 books. One year. Perfect.

Here is the somewhat ambitious list I made for myself:

A – Adam Bede (George Eliot)
B- Bride of Lammermoor  (Walter Scott)
C- Cakes and Ale (W. Somerset Maugham)
D- Dubliners (James Joyce)
E- Ecce Homo (Nietzsche)
F- Far from the Madding Crowd (Thomas Hardy)
G- The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald)
H- Heart of Darkness (Joseph Conrad)
I- Indiana (George Sands)
J- Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
K – Kim (Rudyard Kipling)
L – The Land that Time Forgot (Edgar Rice Burroughs) – only 82 pages – Yay!!!
M – Main Street (Sinclair Lewis
N – A Nancy Drew book (Carolyn Keene) – since I have never read any of them
O – Old Man and the Sea (Ernest Hemingway)
P – A Perfect Spy (John Le Carre)
Q – The Quiet American (Graham Greene)
R – Rebecca (Daphne du Maurier)
S – The Sun also Rises (Hemingway)
T – A Tale of Two Cities (Charles Dickens)
V – The Victim (Saul Bellow)
W – Walden (Henry David Thoreau)
X – Xala (Ousmane Sembene) (This was a hard letter of the alphabet)
Y – The Yearling (Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings)
Z – Zen in the Art of Archery (Eugen Herrigel)

Needless to say, 5 weeks later and I have already fallen behind on my reading project. I had placed a hold on Adam Bede and lost a week waiting for it. Oh what an excruciating book! My policy is to never finish a book I don’t like. But here was a book from my list. Did I have to finish the book?

I realized two things too late.
First – I don’t have to read the books in alphabetical order. So even if I force myself to finish a book from this list that I don’t like (and the jury is still out on this), I can put it off to the end. So much time lost. Sigh.
Second – I can download the book free from Project Gutenberg  and many other places. No need to wait for my library to send it to me. Hah! I am actually an excellent reference librarian. I would never have made this mistake while helping a library patron. I would have encouraged them to find options so they didn’t have to wait.
And third – Yes, this is in addition to the two things. I also realized that you can look for most classics on your Nook or Kindle. Just sort by price and you will find the free copies at the top of the list.

So here’s my final decision. I will read through my list as the mood takes me or when I can find the books instead of in strictly alphabetical order. I may also switch books in and out of the list if the mood so takes me. I’ sorry Adam Bede. You may have to go.

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Notes:
Project Gutenberg is  a great source for downloading free books without violating copyright laws. http://www.gutenberg.org.

Now in week 46, I am sorry to say that thanks to the Trans-Pacific Partnership, many of these Public Domain projects may be negatively impacted.

Also as an aside: Deciding on your choice of career when you are a new immigrant suffering from culture shock is like grocery shopping on an empty stomach. It’s a bad idea. Don’t do it.